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Writer's pictureSonya Mangrum

Core Friends


Let's be honest, today people throw around the word "friend" like a newborn baby with no control over their bladder.

"Core friends are God's gift to us. They constantly remind us of the true meaning of love by living out love as a noun and a verb, just how it should beLet's be honest, today people throw around the word "friend" like a newborn baby with no control over their bladder.


It is really sad, to be honest. It makes me wonder-


Have we gotten away from what it means to have real friends?


Have we settled for mediocre friends just because we all have the desire and need to be love and accepted?


Do we truly understand what good quality friendships look like?


Do we even know what it means to be a good friend?


Are WE good friends?


Do we settle for quantity over quality simply not to feel alone?


Do we define our worth by how many friends we have?


What is a real friend??


Those are all questions I've reflected on, and in the midst of my reflection, I realize I've had some very unhealthy friendships over the years. My feelings of wanting to be accepted, liked by many, not wanting to be alone or being part of a particular group of friends to feel adequate unfortunately landed me in poor quality friendships that were never really true, to begin with. Thankfully, it hasn't been all bad when it's come to me having friends. God has truly blessed me with some amazing women in my life that I know are my true friends. The beauty of it all is that I can appreciate having them in my life because I believe I've grown in knowing how to be a friend first and foremost. See, I've grown to understand that in order to have a friend I must first be a friend. Sounds simple, I know. But for me, that truth took me years to learn. With that said, I want to share what I consider a real friend-a core friend to be.


Core friends are men and women that we do life with no matter where life takes us. In distance, time, wins, losses, gains, good times, bad times, indifferent, etc. They are friends that know your strengths and friends that you aren't afraid of knowing your weaknesses. Core friends feel and sense your unspoken words and pain. They are friends that understand that you are a jacked-up individual with too many flaws to count, but they love you anyway. They are friends that walk closer to you when everyone else walks away from you. They are friends that may hurt you and might be hurt by you, but neither of you gives up on one another. They know that some times you just need a moment and they encourage you to take that moment. They are those friends that call or text and don't get upset when you don't call or text right back. They are those friends that you can go a while without talking to, then pick right back up where you left off. They remind you that there is hope when you don't feel that there is any.


Core friends truly want what's best for you. They aren't jealous or envious of you. They can be real, raw, and transparent. They can tell you in love when you are wrong and they can take an open rebuke from you knowing it is all out of love. They can be the same person with you that they are behind closed doors when no one is watching. They are friends that remind you of who you are when you become discouraged and forget that you have a purpose. They can feel and sense your unspoken words and pain. They are friends that can walk into your real-life messy situations and not judge you, but pray for you. They are friends that may show up to your house unannounced or without a planned visit and you are more excited about their company than you are frustrated about how your home looks at that moment.


Core friends are God's gift to us. They constantly remind us of the true meaning of love by living out love as a noun and a verb, just how it should be.


I could seriously write a book about core friends and there is so much more I want to say. However, I will leave with this-


In my personal opinion, the most important attributes of core friends are men and women that love the Lord and point you back to Him in all things. They are friends that are with you when you are on the mountain top, but also with you in the valleys. They are those friends you want to share your prayer request and praise reports with first. Core friends are those individuals that pray for you and love you at all times; not because they have to, but because they are honored to.



So, that's my definition of a core friend. What's yours?


Whatever your answer is to that question-Can you truly say you have any core friends? Most importantly, are you a core friend? Not because someone expressed that you were their core friend, but because you truly live out what it means to be a core friend...


My prayer is that we will all experience the beauty of doing life with real core friends. That we will not only have core friends but that we will be a core friend to others that God desires us to be a core friend to.



Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times and is there to help when trouble comes.


Proverbs 18:24

A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.


May God continue to bless you all!


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